I have quite a few friends in the process of wedding planning, and I thought I would share a little bit of advice to help you get through this magnificent time in your life. (Apparently I still think I have advice to give over a year after my wedding!)
1. Trust your significant other. -- First of all, if you don't trust your significant other, why are you getting married?!? In the midst of wedding plans, people will throw tons of advice at you. They will have good reasoning behind their advice and the best of intentions, but their advice is not always something you need to hear. Sometimes others' advice causes more worry, panic, and stress. While I can't say this is for everyone, my rock during my engagement was my significant other. He kept me centered and focused. It didn't matter what anyone else did or said, Justin would set me straight. He would stay late at night sitting and talking with me calmly (usually) about how things would work themselves out. He would remind me that he loved me no matter what. He even made some pretty stupid decisions just to make sure I knew I was loved. (I won't say what.) So . . . no matter what anyone else tells you, trust your significant other whether the question be about marriage or your wedding day. They will (or should) always have your best intentions at heart.
2. Trust your gut. -- Before I say what I'm going to say, you need to know that I absolutely love my dad. The thing is when you get married, everybody seems to have a say or want a say in what happens. Quite frequently my dad and I would have our expectations clash. Justin wanted one florist and my dad said no. He said I needed a cheaper florist. No offense dad, but I have to side with my significant other on this one considering it is his wedding day too. A cheaper photographer? Ummm . . . do you know what you are looking for?!?! Then there were those stupid glass paint markers! I bought them for using on old window panes for decoration. I was going to return the unused ones, but my dad said he had a project he needed them for. I had already made him promise not to write on the getaway car. What did he do? He gave the markers that I paid for to my friends and family to do the exact thing I asked him not to do. I was irate! Furious! Angry! In the moment I did something entirely stupid. When he was laughing at my anger and saying he loved me, I told him that he didn't. I immediately felt regret and apologized. Rather than fighting and looking awful in front of family and friends, Justin and I just drove the 1960-something gorgeous camaro to my parent's house and switched it out for my car. Not quite the fancy getaway vehicle we were hoping to drive away in, but I was grateful to not be in a car that said "Honk for a smooch!" The point is . . . Don't give your father glass paint markers unless you really want your getaway car written on. Trust your gut.
By the way, I was told I would someday look back and laugh. That hasn't happened yet.
3. Don't expect everything to go right. -- I am a very forgetful person, so of course I forgot the wedding rings. (I remembered the dress!) But even beyond my own faults, some of the people I trusted the most, such as the vendors, didn't get everything right. Flowers falling out of the bouquet, hair and make-up artist sleeping on the job, the wedding planner forgetting to put things out . . . All you can really do is hire people, hope you are making the right decisions, and just go with it. Do you really want to be upset on your wedding day? No? I didn't think so. No matter what happens, you are getting to spend time with the people who are nearest and dearest to you. That is not something to be taken lightly.
4. DIY or Not? -- If you are a busy person or not very crafty, don't try to DIY everything. While my experience may not be the norm, you often spend more time and money on things that are not necessary then you do on saving money. TRUST ME. Pick your battles. (Or crafts.) Which is more important? DIY flowers or DIY food? If you try to do both, you might go crazy. (You should also pick helpful bridesmaids.)
4a. Speaking of helpful bridesmaids and family, unless you truly trust them, give them easy tasks to do that they can't/won't screw up. If you are anything like me, you are crazy picky. Things have to go in order: A, B, C rather that C, A, B. (We aren't spelling here.) When I asked a bridesmaid to help me put stamps on envelopes, she decided to do them the way she wanted rather than the way I asked her to. End result? I gave her the envelopes for the people I cared least about. (I wouldn't let her touch immediate family or close friends envelopes, because I wanted those PERFECT.) While the situation is not ideal, it helped me accomplish more and made her feel like she was helping me. Hopefully your bridesmaids will be more willing to listen to your desires, but, if not, just give them simplified tasks and let it go. Not everything can be perfect. Plus, they are helping you.
5. Relax -- You only get one period of engagement and one wedding day, so try to relax and enjoy it. Simplify what needs to be done as much as possible before your wedding day, so that your vendors have the best possible chance of producing the wedding of your dreams. (We washed and tied silverware together prior to the day of so that the wedding planner just had to set the silverware out on the tables.) Make lists . . . not that you or your wedding vendors will follow them. It will help you worry just a bit less knowing that they know what you want them to know. Plan a chance to eat breakfast, and, if you are anything like me, plan to see your significant other prior to the ceremony. You know who you are marrying and there is absolutely no reason to worry about it. The deacon who married Justin and I said to not look at anyone else during the service. He said "Just look at me and Justin, and you'll be fine." I'm pretty sure I looked at the back wall most of the service when I wasn't laughing at the cute flower girls. (Flower girls and sucky flowers that fall out of your bouquet are one of the best options if you are worried about people staring at you. They won't be. They'll be laughing at the flower girls too. lol.)
Anyway, that is my best advice for you not-yet-married brides-to-be. I'm sure you've heard a lot of this before, but it is worth repeating. Get these things ingrained into you. After you are done with the whole wedding ordeal, you will be married to your best friend which is totally worth all of the aggravation and headache! I was recently told that being married is like having a slumber party with your best friend every night for the rest of your life. (I.e. No more sleeping in the middle of the bed for you!)
I hope all of my readers are having a fantastic week so far! Only one more day until the weekend! :)
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